I was told by the doctor that due to my health condition I will not be able to fast the whole of Ramadan as I need to take my medication regularly and should not miss them. I was really upset by this and felt that I would be missing out on this month. So I insisted on fasting the first day, and yes it was a mistake. It took me several days to recover from it.
But over this week what I’ve realised is that I don’t need to miss out on this month even though I’m not fasting. I can still pray and do all the other acts of worship. And that this is a blessing from Allah that he has allowed those that are ill to not fast as it will be too difficult for them and worsen their condition.
That I had sincerely wanted to fast and that the Prophet (saw) has told us that those who sincerely want to do something good but a prevented will still get the reward of doing that good deed.
So I am not missing out at all. But that Allah has made it easier for me to fulfill other acts of worship in which I can still gain rewards from. Something that I definitely wouldn’t be able to do if i was fasting.
That Allah knows what is best for us even if we think we know better.
…He gives life and causes death… Quran (9:116)
I find it so strange that people think it’s pessimistic to talk about death. Surely if we remembered death more often we would be much more realistic people? It is better than denying what is certain. Knowing that we could die tomorrow should make us change our perspective on life. Wouldn’t we live life to its fullest everyday. We wouldn’t procrastinate on things we have been meaning to do. But we forget that we will die, instead we think we will live forever. How many people regret not doing things? The biggest regret we will have is not doing enough good deeds at our death bed, and know for sure that death is your only certainty in life.
We are taught by the prophet (saw) to increase in the remembrance of the destroyer of desires; death. He also told us to visit the graveyards to remind ourselves of death. This is a reminder we need. We should remember death. But it needs to be balanced like everything else in life, if all we think about is death we won’t be able to do anything in life but if we never remember death then we may procrastinate in doing the things we need to do.
Before you are even born the angel in your mothers womb writes down when you will die. We need to just think about that for a moment. And we read these Hadiths and don’t even reflect on what it actually means, what is the purpose of us knowing this? What does the prophet (saw) want to teach us?
Even the dua we recite every morning as we wake up is about thanking Allah for giving us life after having taken it from us. This should be reminder to us every morning that Allah has given us the opportunity to do something good, to seek His forgiveness to change ourselves for the better.
It’s strange that when we travel, go on a holiday or move to a new place we meticulously plan every detail and decide what we need to take with us yet the journey that every single one of us is most definately going to take we don’t prepare for. It reminds me of the story of Dawud (as), the angel of death came to him and he was surprised, saying you came without warning. The angel of death replied, saying that he had in fact told Dawud (as) that he would come. He asked him about his fathers death , his neighbours death, his friends death. People around him had died and this was his message to Dawud (as) that he will be coming for him too. So when someone we know passes away it should remind us that one day this will be us and we need to prepare ourselves for it.
So then how should we be preparing for it? There are many things we can do, we should increase in our good deeds; give more in charity, be good to our family and friends, fast, pray our salah etc. We also should increase in our seeking forgiveness for all the sins we have committed. All the haram we indulged in, the rights of others we trampled over, slander, gossip, stealing. Whatever it was that we did we need to seek forgiveness for it. Seek forgiveness all the time as we don’t know which breath will be our last.
I will leave you with this quote from Imam Al-Ghazali: O friend, the cloth from which your burial shroud will be cut has already reached the market yet you remain unaware.
Being told you’re too skinny is just as soul destroying as being told you’re fat. Trust me.
Although I have now accepted that I’m slightly underweight and will probably remain this way for at least a few more years, due to my fast metabolism, I did at one time feel like there was something wrong with me for being so skinny. Before I got married I was constantly told I’m too skinny, so skinny that my wedding dress won’t look nice on me and that my husband won’t find me attractive. People told me I looked anorexic even though I wasn’t. It made me feel quite insecure about my body, I started to believe what people told me. I know I shouldn’t have but when your constantly told something it does affect you. After I got married it took some time for me to accept that my husband thinks I’m perfectly fine the way I am. Alhamdulillah for my husband, when I told him how I felt he told me that’s ridiculous and made me feel like I’m the prettiest girl in the world (to him anyways). Just like we wouldn’t say to someone you’re so fat your husband won’t think your pretty, we also shouldn’t say it to someone who is skinny.
I’ve come to realise that no matter what size you are you will always be the wrong size. There’s no winning. So I learnt to accept it and be happy with the size that I am. Yes I know I am slightly underweight but my doctors aren’t concerned so there really is no problem. If people spent less time worrying about other peoples dress size and more time on themselves the world would be a much happier place. I mean how is my dress size going to affect anyone else’s lives? Now I know some people are genuinely concerned but then you need to be tactful in the way you handle the situation. Yes some people need to lose weight for health reasons and yes some people may have an eating disorder causing them to be severely underweight but is saying you’re too fat or you’re so skinny that you look ugly going to help? Instead how about you focus on them and their wellbeing rather than their image? Why do girls become anorexic? Because society says you need to be super skinny to look pretty. Well how about the society focuses on more important things rather than a dress size. Seriously!
And lastly I want to remind myself and anyone out there who’s been told they’re not the “right” dress size that Allah has created you perfectly. You are exactly how Allah intended you to be and and you are perfectly unique and special to Allah, no matter what anyone else says. Allah created every single person differently, right down to our fingerprint so then why would we want to look like someone else? And remember that there is wisdom in why you were created the way you were and it is exactly the way Allah intended you to look. And what could be more perfect than the way Allah wanted you to look?
We have certainly created man in the best of stature. Quran 95:4