International Women’s Day

It’s international women’s day! A day in which we celebrate the achievements of women all over the world. So many inspiring women throughout history and all over the world.

But on this day we should also take a moment to remember all those women who may none be as lucky, who are oppressed and abused and treated unfairly. And we, as the lucky ones, should not just be inspired by others achievements but also take a stand and take action to help our sisters. Whether it’s raising awareness, volunteering with a charity that helps women or speaking to someone you know that may be in a bad situation. We should stand together in solidarity with our sisters.

We should also realise that every single woman is different and whether she is the head of a company, a doctor, a teacher, a housewife, a mother, a wife, a daughter. Each and every role is as important as the other. We should not look down on one another, we should encourage and help each other.

Looking at women throughout history we see that they all achieved great things but their roles in life were very different from each other. Marie Curie was a gifted scientist who made huge contributions to helping fight cancer. Fatima al-Fihri built the worlds first university in Morocco. J.K. Rowling who taught us to persever despite your circumstances. The mother of Imam Bukhari who taught us the importance of being a mother and how much we can impact our children’s lives. Amelia Earhart showed us that we can achieve great things and we should always aim high. Khadijah taught us that we can be successful in both work and at home, that we don’t have to choose between being a wife and mother or having a career. Rosa Parks taught us that we should not stand for injustice and discrimination and that one woman can make all the difference.

There are so many more women so many more amazing achievements and we should all take inspiration and try to be the best we can be not just in our career but as people too. We should strive to have the best character and the best manners. We should encourage and motivate each other not critise and bring each other down. We should be part of our community and support each other. We should work together to make the world a better place.

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He’s going to “fix” me…

If you think that by getting married your spouse will be able to fix any and all problems or weaknesses you have think again. They cannot “fix” you. Only Allah can.

Many people have this idea that by getting married the spouse will suddenly give them the ability to change them. This is a HUGE myth! If you struggle with your anger control, or struggle to pray or struggle to lower your gaze, you will continue to do so after marriage. Trust me. Although I have of been married long I know that my husband cannot fix any of the weaknesses I have and neither can I fix his. The only thing we can do is advise and encourage each other. 
So if one of us struggles to pray all our salah on time we can encourage each other n try making things easier like praying together and reminding each other. But we won’t be around each other all day and when you’re not with them to remind them they can still miss their salah. Or if one of us finds it difficult to be punctual and get to work or meetings etc. on time we can remind them to  leave on time and advise them to try different ways to have a reminder maybe use a diary etc but we cannot make them get to their appointments and meetings on time. 
We can help our spouse to become a better person and work in their weaknesses but we cannot fix them. 
What I would say though that this shows how important it is to choose a good, righteous spouse, because your spouse can help you and make it easier for you to overcome your weaknesses. 
Only Allah has the ability to fix a weakness of yours, so instead of getting married so your spouse can fix you, instead learn about how you yourself can fix your weakness and ask Allah to make it easy for you to overcome you weakness or what ever it is you struggle in. So if you struggle to pray, learn the importance of prayer and attend classes about salah etc and make sincere dua that Allah gives you the ability to consistently pray on time. 
So don’t expect your spouse to do what only Allah can do for you because if you do get married with this expectation then you will be very disappointed and it can even cause issues between you and your spouse.