#WhoIsMuhammad

How can I describe who he is? This man who came with a message from God and changed the world forever. How is it possible that I can have so much love for him without ever meeting him?
Do you know that the very people that hated him and wanted to stop him from spreading the message of God called him the truthful and trustworthy?
Did you know many people became Muslim just through his excellence in manners and noble character?
With all this hatred at the moment I wanted to clarify who Muhammad (pbuh) is. It is so painful to see all this hatred for someone so beloved to me especially when they don’t even know who he was. What did he spend his life doing? How did he live? What type of person was he?
He was a man that taught racial equality, social justice, economic equity and women’s rights.
He was kind and never harsh or rude. Despite others constantly insulting and being rude to him. He always took the middle path and was never extreme in doing too much or too little.
Even though he went through so many hardships in his life, he was known as the smiling one, who always laughed and made others laugh and smile too.
He was a man who never hurt anyone and cared so much for everyone around him, that he would pray constantly for them. His concern was always for others. He taught us to treat others how we, ourselves, would want to be treated.
Due to his character and manners those around him loved him and even those who were against him were only against him because they did not want to follow his message. His neighbour would throw rubbish on him when he walked past but when she was ill he went to visit her and treated her with kindness.
I can just go on and on about him but I would be here forever. He is so beloved by all the Muslims in the world, I love him more than my parents, my husband, my friends and all you have to do is read about him to know why.
I will leave you with this short video…
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The Youth of the Cave

In surah Kahf, Allah specifically mentions that the people of the cave were in their youth. Allah does not normally mention these types of details this so it is something significant. Allah wants us to know that they were youth for a reason. 

These were people who lived in a time where disbelief was prevalent and they were among the few believers. They were firm in their belief and did not give in to society pressure. Despite their lives being threatened they still held onto their faith. So Allah rewarded them for it. They were saved from the tyrannical ruler and when they returned home they found people who could openly practice their belief. Allah made them examples for us to follow by speaking about them in the Quran.

It is We who relate to you, [O Muhammad], their story in truth. Indeed,
they were youths who believed in their
Lord, and We increased them in guidance.

And We bound [i.e., made firm] their
hearts when they stood up and said,
“Our Lord is the Lord of the heavens
and the earth. Never will we invoke besides Him any deity. We would have
certainly spoken, then, an excessive
transgression.

Quran (18:13-14)

The youth today should take from this and realise that they should not be worried about conforming to society, rather if they stay firm on their deen then Allah will surely save them and reward them. Just like He did for the people of the cave.

Things we were never taught about Marriage 

Having recently gotten married me and my husband realised just how much more there is to marriage than we realised. That marriage is much more difficult than any single person could imagine. It takes such hard to create a strong marriage. So we decided that we would attend an Islamic marriage course. It has alhamdulillah taught us a lot, things we didn’t even realise we were doing and things we learnt we should be doing instead. So I thought I would share some of the things we learnt. This class was taught by Ajmal Masroor:

Marriage is a journey of two people, not a lonely path, with a loving, kind and supportive companion. 

They are your garments and you are their garments. (2:187) This ayah tells us that it is an intimate relationship between two equals.

A garment protects us and hides our faults from the world. Just like our spouse should do.

The quranic notion of a garment is about protecting friendship, beautifying companionship and intimate partnership.

Neither spouse is perfect but they fit perfectly together like a garment fits you perfectly.

The male is not like the female (3:36) We are different and we need to know the differences. But we should compliment each other not compete with each other.

We should accept that our spouse is different and not insist on them being exactly the same way as us.

We need to be emotionally mature to have successful relationships. Emotional intelligence is the ability, capacity, skills to identify, assess and manage the emotions of ones self, of others, and of groups.

In islam emotions are given their due place (neither extreme is encouraged) and they are part of our soul. Islam encourages us to be wise and strong and be in control of our feelings.

Emotional equilibrium is a state of submission, sakinah and taqwa as well as between fear and hope.

Love is not a noun it is a verb. Love must come with action.

Allah gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth therefore we should listen twice as much as we talk.

Say what you mean and mean what you say.

The in laws have NO rights over the daughter/son in law. Anything that the daughter/son in law do for their in laws is out of her/his kindness. The in laws cannot make any demands or insist that the daughter/son in law do anything for them. Only their own child has an obligation to look after them.

Its not just what you say but how you say it. Body language, tone etc are also part of how you communicate with your spouse.

When your spouse is speaking to you give them your full attention. Look at them, put away your phone etc and listen to what they say to you.

Dont let misunderstandings develop always clarify and dont leave things hanging.

You dont know whats in their heart. You cannot judge their intentions.

We must practice what we preach. You must do what you expect your spouse to do.

I hope these are of benefit to others as they have been for us.  

A parents Dua

We often hear about Maryam the mother of Isa (as) and imam Bukhari. We are told about what amazing people they were and about their love for the deen. Yet often the people who are overlooked are their mothers. 
When the mother of Maryam found out she was going to have a child, due to her gratitude to Allah vowed she would dedicate her child to the service of Allah. And even when she gave birth to a girl and not a boy as she had expected she still did not despair, her daughter was taken in by the pious people and grew up to be one of the best women to walk this earth. Her mother had ensured that she had a righteous upbringing from even before she was born. Her mothers dua and worship helped ensure that Maryam (as) would grow up to be a rightous women worshipping Allah.
The mother of imam Bukhari had to raise her son as a single parent as her husband passed away early in his childhood. While imam Bukhari was still young he lost his eyesight. His mother did not lose hope in Allah and made constant dua day and night. Due to her worship, miraculously his eyesight was restored. He then grew up to collect and write the most authentic book of hadiths which is still used today. Had his eyesight not been restored it would have made it much more difficult if not impossible for him to complete the sahih al-Bukhari.
While reflecting on this I realised something very important. Not only is it important for the parents to raise the child in a good and righteous manner but also that making dua for their child and the parent being rightous can have a major impact on their lives. We can see just how big of an impact the duas of their mothers had. We should pray with conviction, expecting Allah to answer our dua and we shouldn’t despair if our duas are not answered immediately, Allah always knows what is best for us.

The Prophet saw said: “The invocation of anyone of you is granted (by Allah) if he does not show impatience (by saying, “I invoked Allah but my request has not been granted”)” Narrated by Bukhari. 

Repenting now is better for you

And we will surely let them taste the nearer punishment short of the greater punishment that perhaps they will return (ie repent). [32:21]

Sometimes Allah sends difficulties to us because he wants us to become mindful of Him. We may have busied ourselves in the dunya so much that we have become neglectful in our ibadah. We may have fallen in love with the dunya where we cannot leave a sin even though we know it is haram. Allah does not punish us for a long time so that we may turn back to Him. He continues to shower His blessings on us despite us sinning and being neglectful in our ibadah. However if this does not make us come back to Him then know for sure that he will send us hardships, not to solely punish us but so that this punishment or difficulty makes us turn to Him. So that we detach ourselves from the dunya. And surely, this difficulty in the dunya, to make us repent is better than the punishment in the hereafter, which Allah also speaks about in this ayah. He sends us our punishment in the dunya so we may repent so that we won’t be punished in the hereafter. SubhanAllah. As this punishment is nothing compared to the punishment in the hereafter. So turn back to Him. Repent and seek forgiveness from Him and you will find Al-Ghafoor.

Do we love Eid?

So as christmas holidays have just ended, i’ve been thinking about why children are so in love with christmas. This also affects muslim children as well and sometimes i’ve seen that they actually like christmas more than eid!
Some of the many reasons which I have found is the fact that the preperations for christmas are so big and so exciting that the kids cant wait for christmas to arrive. There’s presents all wrapped up waiting for them, there’s parties and decorations, stories and christmas activities. After all this it’s no wonder children love christmas time. This excitement, this love that our children have should be for Eid not christmas. So why is it that this isn’t so prevalent in our children?

Some of the reasons I have found is that many children don’t even know why we celebrate Eid and its not exciting for them. I know when i was young i found Eid quite boring. So what can we do to change this? How can we make Eid more exciting to our younger siblings or our children?

Well some of the things i’ve started to do with my younger sisters and brother has helped to make Eid so much more exciting and build a love for Eid, and i thought i would share it with everyone to help you all too:
1. So before Eid arrives i share stories and explain why we celebrate Eid. 
2. The night before Eid we all help put decorations up, some which we have made together at home and some store bought banners. A good place to look for decorations is www.muslimstickers.com
3. On Eid day we put on a show for the adults which we have prepared beforehand. We have quran recitation, Eid poems and even a short play. This not only gets the kids involved but also the adults.
4. We also make an eid countdown calender and do other activities such as reading a story and then making a model. For example if we read about how the kabah was built we then would get cardboard, paint, colours etc and build the kabah. Children love getting hands on and they are more likely to remember the story.
5. Presents! Children love presents! When i was young i would be given money and i never felt the same excitement as opening a present. My sisters and brother love coming home from eid salah to find presents waiting for them. They can’t wait to open them! This builds love between the family.
So these are things that i do to make Eid more exciting for my younger siblings, this in turn makes them less excited about christmas because they have had their excitement at Eid. I hope these are helpful and i’m sure there are many other things to do to make Eid more exciting so that the kids don’t feel like they need to celebrate christmas. 

Our Ibadah is only as Good as what we Eat

O mankind! Eat of that which is lawful and good on the earth and follow not the footsteps of shaytan. Verily he is to you an open enemy. (2:168)

Reflecting on this ayah we learn so much. Allah not only tells us to eat what is halal but also good healthy food. Allah also makes the connection between food and the shaytan. Shaytan also uses food to trick us, getting us to eat unhealthy causes bad effects on our ibadah. We cant concentrate on our salah and feel lazy. So we should strive to not only eat what is halal but also good for our bodies so that we may increase and remain consistent in our ibadah. Many of us don’t even realise that eat a healthy balanced diet can also affect our ibadah and in turn affect our aakhirah. It is an area that many of us neglect but inshaAllah we can change this and eat better and we will be able to see the positive effects in our ibadah.