It is We who relate to you, [O Muhammad], their story in truth. Indeed,
they were youths who believed in their
Lord, and We increased them in guidance.
And We bound [i.e., made firm] their
hearts when they stood up and said,
“Our Lord is the Lord of the heavens
and the earth. Never will we invoke besides Him any deity. We would have
certainly spoken, then, an excessive
Marriage is a journey of two people, not a lonely path, with a loving, kind and supportive companion.
They are your garments and you are their garments. (2:187) This ayah tells us that it is an intimate relationship between two equals.
A garment protects us and hides our faults from the world. Just like our spouse should do.
The quranic notion of a garment is about protecting friendship, beautifying companionship and intimate partnership.
Neither spouse is perfect but they fit perfectly together like a garment fits you perfectly.
The male is not like the female (3:36) We are different and we need to know the differences. But we should compliment each other not compete with each other.
We should accept that our spouse is different and not insist on them being exactly the same way as us.
We need to be emotionally mature to have successful relationships. Emotional intelligence is the ability, capacity, skills to identify, assess and manage the emotions of ones self, of others, and of groups.
In islam emotions are given their due place (neither extreme is encouraged) and they are part of our soul. Islam encourages us to be wise and strong and be in control of our feelings.
Emotional equilibrium is a state of submission, sakinah and taqwa as well as between fear and hope.
Love is not a noun it is a verb. Love must come with action.
Allah gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth therefore we should listen twice as much as we talk.
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
The in laws have NO rights over the daughter/son in law. Anything that the daughter/son in law do for their in laws is out of her/his kindness. The in laws cannot make any demands or insist that the daughter/son in law do anything for them. Only their own child has an obligation to look after them.
Its not just what you say but how you say it. Body language, tone etc are also part of how you communicate with your spouse.
When your spouse is speaking to you give them your full attention. Look at them, put away your phone etc and listen to what they say to you.
Dont let misunderstandings develop always clarify and dont leave things hanging.
You dont know whats in their heart. You cannot judge their intentions.
We must practice what we preach. You must do what you expect your spouse to do.
When the mother of Maryam found out she was going to have a child, due to her gratitude to Allah vowed she would dedicate her child to the service of Allah. And even when she gave birth to a girl and not a boy as she had expected she still did not despair, her daughter was taken in by the pious people and grew up to be one of the best women to walk this earth. Her mother had ensured that she had a righteous upbringing from even before she was born. Her mothers dua and worship helped ensure that Maryam (as) would grow up to be a rightous women worshipping Allah.
The mother of imam Bukhari had to raise her son as a single parent as her husband passed away early in his childhood. While imam Bukhari was still young he lost his eyesight. His mother did not lose hope in Allah and made constant dua day and night. Due to her worship, miraculously his eyesight was restored. He then grew up to collect and write the most authentic book of hadiths which is still used today. Had his eyesight not been restored it would have made it much more difficult if not impossible for him to complete the sahih al-Bukhari.
While reflecting on this I realised something very important. Not only is it important for the parents to raise the child in a good and righteous manner but also that making dua for their child and the parent being rightous can have a major impact on their lives. We can see just how big of an impact the duas of their mothers had. We should pray with conviction, expecting Allah to answer our dua and we shouldn’t despair if our duas are not answered immediately, Allah always knows what is best for us.
The Prophet saw said: “The invocation of anyone of you is granted (by Allah) if he does not show impatience (by saying, “I invoked Allah but my request has not been granted”)” Narrated by Bukhari.
And we will surely let them taste the nearer punishment short of the greater punishment that perhaps they will return (ie repent). [32:21]
Some of the many reasons which I have found is the fact that the preperations for christmas are so big and so exciting that the kids cant wait for christmas to arrive. There’s presents all wrapped up waiting for them, there’s parties and decorations, stories and christmas activities. After all this it’s no wonder children love christmas time. This excitement, this love that our children have should be for Eid not christmas. So why is it that this isn’t so prevalent in our children?
Some of the reasons I have found is that many children don’t even know why we celebrate Eid and its not exciting for them. I know when i was young i found Eid quite boring. So what can we do to change this? How can we make Eid more exciting to our younger siblings or our children?
O mankind! Eat of that which is lawful and good on the earth and follow not the footsteps of shaytan. Verily he is to you an open enemy. (2:168)