Home Sweet Home part 1

Last weekend me and my husband attended a marriage course by Al Kauthar Institute called Home Sweet Home. This was one of the best marriage courses I’ve attended as we were not only taught the theory about marriage in Islam but how to implement what the Quran and sunnah say and also taking into account the way our lives are today in the west and what academic research is telling us about why marriages fail and how to avoid it.

Sheikh Alaa Elsayed was an amazing teacher mashaAllah teaching us everything from how to choose a spouse, the engagement and wedding, understanding your spouse in the beginning of your marriage, the responsibilities of the husband and wife, how to identify issues and strengths in your marriage so you can continue to improve it, why people get divorced and how to avoid it, and lastly the fundamentals of a happy marriage.

I wanted to share some of the things we learnt but I would recommend that everyone should attend this course whether you’re single, newlyweds or been married for years.

The Art of Choosing a Spouse

Before we can begin to start looking for a spouse we need to know why are we getting married? you need to think about why you want to get married so that we can start this search with the right intentions. As a class we came up with a list of reasons as to why we want to get married.

  • complete half your deen
  • complete half of your spouses deen
  • follow the Sunnah
  • halal intimacy
  • having a family
  • raise righteous children
  • have a righteous spouse
  • companionship
  • avoiding sin
  • lower your gaze
  • help each other get to jannah
If we start this with good intentions then our reward will also be greater, we can have multiple intentions so that we can get even more reward. So when we know what our intentions are then we can begin the search for a spouse that can help fulfill these intentions.
“Choose carefully for your children; marry the suitable and give in marriage to them.” (Ibn Majah)
From the Quran and sunnah we learn the importance of choosing a righteous spouse. But how do we know who is best for us?
The number one duty towards your children is to choose a righteous spouse.
When we look don’t be distracted by their worldly success that you neglect to look at their deen. But at the same time don’t focus only on deen as you do have to live in the dunya. You should be looking for both which is acceptable to you. Never fall into the trap of someone saying “they will change after marriage” studies have shown only 5% of people actually change after marriage. So you need to look at how this person is at the time to decide whether this person is right for you.
The best spouse is a best friend that is a lover.
As we learnt so much I will split it into several posts to make it easier to read and understand. I hope you found this beneficial. In my next post i will focus on what we learnt about what qualities are important to look for in a husband or a wife.
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Musings of a Muslimah

I'm a physiotherapist and hijama therapist and happily married Alhamdulillah. This blog is me writing what I learn at my classes and what goes on in my head, my way of taking some time out and reflecting and sharing my thoughts on what I see in society.

3 thoughts on “Home Sweet Home part 1”

  1. So true, I feel like a lot of people get married without realising what marriage is. They see it up to their wedding and honeymoon but what goes beyond if somewhat blurry. Allah has made marriage such a beautiful thing for us.

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  2. I just left a meeting with Priority One, a Phoiinthrlpac Faith Organization that raised over $1.1 Million for strategic projects around the globe. Over $100,000 committed to Haiti! It is great to be strategically aligned with generous people.

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