A few months before I got married one of my best friends told me, marriage is twice as hard as you think it’s going to be. And she couldn’t have been more right.
Marriage isn’t the fairytale we are taught growing up where they magically live happily ever after. It takes constant hard work to build a strong and successful marriage. There are good days and there are bad days. Ups and downs. Even days where you want to kill each other. It is a huge change in your life and it will take time to adjust and many compromises and meeting at half way points has to be done. When you go from living with your parents and having little responsibilities to have to compromise on many aspects of your life it can be a shock to your system. After that honeymoon period where everything is lovey dovey and reality kicks in that’s when you realise just how much effort you need to put into your marriage to make is a successful one.
Now I’m not saying all this to scare people but many people go into marriage thinking it’s all going to be easy and everything will be just fine and they don’t need to change or make any compromises and that’s how people end up fighting and problems escalate and people get divorced on matters that could have been solved if they had gotten married and been realistic in what marriage will be like.
Both the husband and wife need to make compromises and adapt and change to the changes in their life. It is necessary that they both realise that their lifestyle before marriage will not work now they are married. You have responsibilities towards each other and it is important to understand that each of you must make joint decisions and give each other time and support to adjust to the new lifestyle.
It’s so important that they both take time to understand each other and create an environment where both are comfortable and not feeling suffocated. It is not okay for one person to have to always fulfill responsibilities while the other relaxes and enjoys themselves. Both need to fulfill responsibilities so that both have time to relax and spend some time with each other and family and friends.